Ode to a ghost

I read this with tears in my eyes and that's the honest truth. I struggle with this now every day of what life I have left. I'm getting older and everyone asks me how old I am to fucking remind me all the time as "IF" I needed that.
Why not just scream out "How much time have you left my good sir?"
I look at TV shows and wonder if this will be the last time I ever see that movie. These holidays I can't help thinking if this is my last one. I even cry when I'm alone at times knowing I'll soon be gone and nothing will change and this world moves on without missing a single beat. How sad it is, and frightening.....no....horrifying to know the sands are all but run out and perhaps nothing but darkness awaits.
I choose to believe in God and all the goodness that surrounds those religions, but in the end...none of us know for sure, and the best we can say is we "hope" some reward awaits us lying ahead or a new life filled with the happiness we were denied on this planet. So much is nothing but a roll of the dice here, and justice is for a tiny few at best.

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; but what we have done for others and the world remains for all eternity. I pray I will leave something behind that endures, and the way I see this as possible is this can only be the love we had for others....... and the love others had for us.

I believe this is your best work ever.